I love a good fairy tale, like Cinderella for instance. She once was the apple of her daddy’s loving eye but was later thrown into a situation that is similar to indentured servitude. She later meets a mystical lady who has wonderful fashion and style sense and transformed her into a 10. Literally, a 10!
She then gets into a high profile party with no invite and not even on the guest list. They just let her walk in, no questions, no pat down or coat check. (Obviously, the lady she met had some connections.) She walks in, doesn’t know anyone and meets the head dude, aka the Prince! They dance one time. Once! She then hears the clock and dips leaving him sprung off a dance! Women today have to bend over backward to get a text, but she caught a man off a two-step.
Now, this prince could have found another chick to dance with, because I mean it was a ball in his honor. However, he is hooked enough to call his crew and search the kingdom with this size 6 shoe. Not once did he think, “Hey, she’s not the only one to wear a size 6, this is just a waste.”
Not our prince, he searched anyway. Once he found her and saw that her shoe fit, he didn’t care that she straight stunted with her fancy outfit and that she only had rags. He loved her. He saw her and knew that she was the one that he wanted to share his kingdom, his heart, and his life with her.
At that point, they rode off into the sunset and left her hating family behind. It was also at this moment, little girls said: “I can’t wait to grow up and find me a prince just like her.” It was at this moment, Disney screwed us up.
I’m not saying that princes don’t exist, what I am saying is that the illogical rules and regulations that we learned from fairy tales have distorted how we view relationships.
We tend to think that we can do little to nothing and earn us a white knight who has a side hustle in being our personal servants. We also think that if it takes work for us to get something or keep someone that perhaps maybe it “wasn’t meant to be.”
Not to mention the unrealistic expectations that men are these emotionless creatures who can never have similar feelings or want to be desired just as much as we do. It’s craziness really. In my years of being a Disneyologist, I can tell you exactly how Disney messed up my thinking when it came to love and relationships.
1. My partner will be perfect and everything I want him to be:
No one can be everything you want them to be. It’s only through time that you come to appreciate all that they are. When we don’t allow our significant partners to have their faults, we become unhappy with everyone we meet. Then when we do find someone who is perfect with no flaws, you usually end up on Investigation Discovery. Besides we are all flawed, nobody walking on this earth is perfect.
2. He will be super romantic all the time and shower me with gifts and kingdoms:
Dude, I’m not romantic all the time. Some days I’m just holding it together by a string. We have lives and things happen. You can’t expect him to run you full baths every day, buy you flowers every day and still have the ability to make you smile every night while holding a 9-5. You guys will be broke from high water and floral bills. If he has the ability to do these things, that is great! You lucked out, but ladies don’t think that just because he doesn’t do all of this, that he doesn’t love you or have that deeper understanding of you and your needs.
3. It’s not always about you:
In the stories, these guys are slaying dragons, chasing the princesses when they spazz out over non-issues or always being understanding whenever there is an issue. I always ask ladies is this something that you do? Is it always about him all the time? Probably not eh? There are two of us in a relationship and we both have our own separate needs, wants, and desires. It’s up to the BOTH of us to sit down and think about what we need to do to make each other happy.
I’m not saying your relationship cannot magical and have a happy ending. What I am saying is that relationships take work and understanding. It does not pull itself together and stand strong by itself. There is plenty of work and love to be shared by all.
Do you think fairy tales give people a false idea of how a good relationship should be?