A Resurrected Life
As an Emergency Relief Worker, I have the opportunity to provide financial assistance to those within the community who are in need. It’s a wonderful job in which I can be the hands and feet of Jesus, helping people in poverty. It has been an unfortunate occurrence in the last couple of month that I have encountered several people who have been experiencing suicidal ideology.
People have been reaching a point in their lives where the emotional pain has become so great, a burden that they can no longer bear the weight of “psychache” that has dragged them down into the darkness of despair and oppression.
Here I have come to realise that in salvation and the foundation of God’s word in my heart and soul and strengthened by the Holy Spirit that God has been placed, that He places then believer in moments of divine appointments where God gives us the anointing to save the lives of those that He has predestined to live.
Ten years ago, I had found myself in a place of depression and anxiety to the point where I was diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder. My family had disintegrated, I was unable to see my kids with my ex-partner acting out her vengeance after I had ended the relationship. We had both behaved badly at times and the way we sought overcome our unforgiveness and bitterness were very different.
I had moved to another city to start a new job, I was living in what could only be called a slum. The job I had was not paying much and the extra money that I had was being sent to the kids who were living with their mother. However, it seemed that the enemy was determined to bring me to my knees once again.
I have been saved in Christ for five years now, so for the first thirty-nine years of my life, the devil had been plaguing my life with afflictions on the body, and soul. I had been addicted to cigarettes for twenty-six of those thirty-nine years and I had been addicted to marijuana and been binge drinking since the age of seventeen.
As a second born son of a freemason, I was sacrificed spiritually in that cult whilst I was born with a congenital heart disorder that saw me have an operation at ten months and then again at thirteen years of age. My mother and my father had been separated before my surgery as an infant, and three days after my return to home my father and grandfather attempted to murder myself and my mother. It seems that the devil was setting himself against me, the reason for this has only become apparent in salvation.
So, I found myself sitting in my room in an unfamiliar city, unable to work due to the injury I suffered whilst at my new job. I had torn the plantar fascia muscle, which is the muscle that attaches toes to the heel and was on crutches for some three to four weeks. I was a stranger in the city and I needed to do everything myself, including shopping and taking my clothes to the laundry. I was living in a townhouse which was three stories high and took three sets of Everest like stairs to get to my room.
I can admit that it was only after a week or two that the pressure of the circumstances that I found myself in had become too much to bear. Fatigue from the constant use of crutches, loneliness, depression, anxiety, rejection, grief for the loss of my children, difficulty in shopping due to the crutches, had become too much. So, I sat in my room and looked at the box of medication that sat in front of me, and the idea of taking all the medication and going to sleep, permanently. I began to weigh up the pros and cons of living and dying, thoughts of my two kids came on my mind and the hope of rebuilding my life with them caused me to push aside the tablets and pick up my phone and call the mental health line.
So, I spent a week in the hospital and after my release I crutched my way home, having rested and eaten enough that my batteries were recharged and I felt a greater resistance to those feelings of darkness, that still threatened to overwhelm me. On my way home I stopped at the tattoo shop and was drawn to the image of the sun which I had tattooed on my right shoulder.
It was five years after that I came to know Jesus, The Son, finding myself still struggling with those same problems that had led me to the darkness of suicidal thoughts. For the first time in my life, I called upon the name of the Father and reached out my hand asking for the key that would unlock the life that was now in darkness. So, as He does, God answered my cry and He lifted the veil that had been blinding me to the answers that I was looking for. With revelations in Spirit and truth, far greater than I could have ever imagined. It is written that we had a relationship with God before we were formed in the womb, (Jeremiah 1:5), that He knew us before we formed in the womb. He knew us and loved us, and so He has set our steps before us, He will always be a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Days after my salvation in Christ I had stopped smoking both cigarettes and marijuana, stopped drinking and I have never returned to them as a crutch to cope with the world and my troubles.
Considering the life experiences that I had known before a relationship with God, and now declaring God’s glory with zeal and conviction of the absolute and unwavering truth of who God is, may seem an extreme change in understanding. But that is the result knowing God and being in a relationship with Him through the Holy Spirit and feeling His presence and healing touch every moment of everyday. He has taken my ashes and made beauty, He has lifted my feet out of the miry clay and set my feet upon the solid rock that is Christ Jesus.
Please take this revelation of God and allow it to take root in your heart. Pause for a moment, listen to the Spirit, feel the warmth of His loving arms and know this to be true. Allow your belief in the Heavenly Father, Yahweh, the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega, who was, who is and who is to come, to become knowledge, by feeling His presence. It is written in Acts 1 that the Holy Spirit came upon the believers like a fire. That fire is the feeling of the Holy Spirit presence, a physical manifestation of the Holy Spirit that dwells within us and descends on us, covering us. Know His love and peace. Live in peace knowing that you are His.