Think about all of the past relationship mistakes you’ve ever made. Did you really know that person? What about any mistakes you’ve made in business or and life decisions that negatively affected your finances. Did you know the person you made a deal with? Were you friends first with your ex or another rushed relationship?
Why you must be friends first before committing to a relationship
I have found that any mistakes I’ve ever made in business or relationships all went about the same way. I trusted someone I didn’t know long enough and gave them a piece of myself or my money.
Over the years, I learned from failed relationships and investments that we shouldn’t invest in someone or something without knowing who they are and what it is we are interested in.
When you invest in a foreign field of work you have no idea what you’re doing or getting yourself into. I remember that I invested in a vacation deal where if I paid monthly to their business I would get free trips to hotels around the world.
The papers were signed and we began paying a monthly members fee to the vacation company where we found out that they lied about where and how many hotels were available and how hard it was to plan vacations years ahead of when we needed them.
To say it quickly, the vacation rental was a scam. I know that if I would have furthered my research into the company I would’ve known that. Instead, I got so caught up in my emotions of excitement over discounted vacation hotels that I convinced my husband to do so.
Eventually, my husband was able to get all his money back and we were able to leave that company behind. I did learn a valuable lesson where if you don’t know a company’s values or the field you want to invest in then it may be better to study your interests before investing in them.
Study your partner
This advice goes to relationships too. I know for a fact that any ex I have is an ex because I never knew them. I dated them until I learned enough to know we weren’t the right fit. If I would’ve gotten to know them I would have never needed to date them.
I took a year before I chose to give my husband a chance to date me. After a year I knew he was a good person. I learned that he had wanted to make me happy and was a good communicator. He did everything to support me in anything I wanted to do and took time out of his days to talk to me and spend time with me.
He loved me for me and not for what I wore and liked. I wasn’t just a cool girl to talk to and physically attracted to him. He enjoyed my soul.
Vice versa, he was amazing to me. How much he loved his mother and father amazed me and how he took every day one moment at a time was beautiful. We knew that of each other because we were friends for a year. We worked together and I got to know his family, friends, and what he did for fun. He was a simple man, loved peace and enjoyed his life. I loved that.
I knew he was a forever man.
The benefits of being friends first
You see, dating can work sometimes. It’s rare but how many people can say they married people they knew for a few weeks or months. How many marriages end in divorce when they realized how the person actually was.
We all put a front when we meet people. Only time can give away our true selves. Our ugly and bad side will never be shown to someone new. You plan out what you say in your messages and outfits. In a real long-term relationship like marriage, nothing is planned. You need to be able to accept and love the ugly a person has.
My husband saw that I was hard on myself. He knew I can get depression because of that. He knew I was self-conscious and liked spending money. I knew he loved movies and video games. I knew he would lie to me about sleeping early to play and watch tv at night. My husband didn’t pray every day but, I still loved him and he still loved me as friends.
After a while I thought, you know what, I could take this guy seriously. Thankfully we were friends first.
So I gave him a chance and we’ve stuck with each other since. We knew each other. I knew him and I liked him.
Some people are hot. They like what you like yet they have issues and other things about them that you don’t know about. You can’t get to that until later.
Take your time, you got a long life to live. If you want a serious relationship you got to take someone seriously by being friends first and getting to know each other over time.
If you want more relatinship advice, I’d like you to check this article out on Trust in Relationships.
Yessenia Diaz has a background in graphic and web design but is also intrigued by writing and teaching. Yessenia created Tru.Works as an outlet for all her talents and continues collecting stories from around the world to share with people all across the interweb. Follow Yessenia on Instagram and her favorite, Twitter, @ythegreatdiaz.