Fellow Tru.Workers, I feel comfortable with you to share a bit about myself. I feel I can share that portion in my life where my only interest was love. The idea of love fascinated me. To look for love was on my daily agenda and to finally find it was my goal. To use it and to tell everyone about it. To prove that it still exists. At 13, I wanted to prove to people that love did exist somewhere in this world. You have to find it and look for it and be ready for it.
Like I said, at 13 was when I realized that boys liked me and I liked boys but I was looking for love not flings like some kids do today. That’s how I am, a natural imaginative. A romantic individual at 13. With that, I also did not know what love was or even how to get it. I loved the idea of being loved unconditionally.
Eventually, my ultimate goal became to find my husband and have children, but I wanted to know who it was going to be with. I was so desperate by the age of 16 that anyone would have been that person. Anyone could’ve been my husband. I lost my standards. By 16 I had a list of guys that could be the one and I chose stupid boys over and over again. No one took me seriously and I imagined them to be the guy of my dreams when in reality they were bums. Their eyes were so far from marriage that it should have been clear to me. It’s not like they lied to me. They were blunt. I didn’t want to believe that someone did not want love too.
I even dated a guy who engaged me in less than 2 weeks of knowing me. He was on the other end of the spectrum. I was desperate but not crazy. He scared me off so bad that the next guy I dated I believed I could put up with. The problem with that guy was we believed in 2 different religions. By this time I was 18 and I considered myself saved at 18. Then I got baptized and it was as if life hit me. It hit me so hard I saw my future. I saw myself worshipping my God and my husband praying towards another and my children void of any belief.
Some people can deal with their significant other believing in another God than the one they do. I can’t. I’m happy to admit it. It wasn’t until the day I was baptized I realized I was not where God intended. I wasn’t where I wanted to be anymore and when I drew back my consciousness from my vision I saw the love of my life standing there in the church and then I saw who I was with and quickly fell out of love and knew I made a mistake.
Has anyone else ever gone through this? Did God ever wake you up as if your blinders were pulled away and you could finally see what you were missing? This change in my life fascinated me and made me who I am today. There would be no Tru.Works without this change. I thank God for it when I can.