Loyalty Over Love

Loyalty Over Love
©Ben Rosett 2015

Everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants to find their true love, their soul mate, or partner. I’m so happy to have found this person in my life. Others are still searching or waiting around for Mr. or Mrs. Right and that’s alright. Coming from Pennsylvania, it’s common to find a partner and marry them after a couple years and spend your life with them.

The county I lived in had religious views in relationships and so it was more common to marry as soon as you find someone who wants to be loyal to you. In New York City, I find that people always feel like they can find someone better. Someone who looks better, speaks smarter, is more athletic and maybe even someone who is amazed by your personality than your current partner or spouse.

Small towns have fewer people, and fewer people mean less chance where you could find anyone who could be better than you than your current spouse but boy did I get a reality shock in New York City.

There are so many men, and so many options of men to get into. More people find you attractive and it’s only because the city has more people in it.

I found myself slipping when I realized a guy from work was actually into me.

He was exciting, attractive, and had more in common with me than my husband. My husband and I have absolutely nothing in common besides our morals and beliefs. Either than that, he’s black and I’m white. There’s no gray in our relationship at all.

I’ve fought with the idea of having a new relationship and what it would look or feel like to get into a new romance and It bothered me. My husband, the hard worker that he is, is always working and busy. I could get away with so much but I just don’t have the heart to take advantage of him.

I love him dearly, and yes, I’m missing something from our relationship and this other guy had me realize it but it’s my responsibility to share that with him.

these few months was a confusing time for myself. I want, to be honest with my readers. I’ve never struggled with something this hard in my life but I know that God brought this challenge into my life because it’s always something that I’ve thought about in the back of my mind.

I’ve found that my beliefs were shattered, my marriage was not in a good place and I was hurting my husband and my mental health. Every day I woke up next to my husband thinking about my happiness and my opinions about love, marriage, God and myself.

I thought a lot of my needs and my decisions and if I made a mistake getting married young.

I’m so grateful that even though I turned away from God I had many good friends who told me to never give up on my marriage and to communicate with my husband.

This is why Tru.Works exists. 

I can’t imagine the people who are going through things that are crucial to their lives and have no one to talk to about it. That’s why I want to share these stories around the world.

There’s bound to be thousands of women who are on the verge of starting a new romance with another man, or woman, and don’t have a friend to tell them to stay loyal.

Stay loyal no matter what.

Come clean to your spouse, before you go too far and work together to bring happiness into your marriage once again. I can’t get into the details on how to do that but I know that other people have written about it.

This other guy knows now that we’re just friends. Although the thought of a relationship with this man does come into my mind almost every day, it’s just not worth it.

Marriage has its ups and downs but its loyalty that pays off. It’s not the love, the fun times, the money or the sex, but to know that it doesn’t matter what you do, whether you cheat, lie, steal, laugh, love, and grown with each other we all just want loyalty.

I’m absolutely human and even God knows that. My husband has to accept my flaws and my temptations. He vowed on it. I have to accept his, and we both must work on those things for each other, and for our future children and goals.

Attractive men and women, come and go but loyalty comes with time. Loyalty can be shattered in an instant, and even if my marriage turns to shreds and my husband and I grow to ever hate each other (I doubt that) I want to be known as a woman of my word.

I said those vows at 20 years of age and he did so too at 19.

We love each other. Why else would we have married each other?

It’s not hard to find someone sexy, smart, attractive or wise. I’d rather have a loyal spouse than any of that.

I’d rather have someone at my side when my mother passes away, or when I land my first million, or even when I get interviewed for the first time than be alone.

Loyalty is beautiful. It just sounds so sweet that my spouse and I have been together 8 years. I can’t wait for our 10-year mark, 15-year mark, and twenty.

The loyalty to each other will all be worth it when my children say daddy for the first time, and when we buy our first house, and when we travel to Japan.

At the end of this season of my life, I was so stressed and so unlike myself that I couldn’t breathe. I despised my husband and hated God. I’ve never thought this could happen to me.

My personal lesson was that I’m human. I will fail, I’m not perfect. I’m so happy about that. It’s a relief to know that I’m not able to live this life on my own.

I’ve realzied that every day I need God. Even more so, Jesus. Without Him, I’ll lose my wisdom, lose my foundation and myself.

I was so close to ruining my life.

Stick and stay, don’t ever give up on loyalty. It’ll soon pay off.

Look at Hillary Clinton’s loyalty with Bill after the whole Monica Lewinsky mishap. That’s loyalty.

1 Comment

  1. Mitchel Tobiassen
    August 12, 2016

    Great post. I am facing a couple of these problems.

    Reply

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