Rejection happens to everyone at any age. It ranges from finding out the boy you like doesn’t like you back to people finding out your love of Japanese music is weird. Rejection happens in a social atmosphere and everyone takes it differently. You’re not alone if you’ve ever been rejected and have now become more shy, angry or self-conscious.
If you want to know if you’ve been affected by past rejections these traits may have developed in you since then like:
- Avoiding large groups or parties
- Constantly checking yourself in the mirror
- Not able to say no
- Refrain from social events/or stay home
- Cannot look at someone in the eyes
- Will not offer yourself to be vulnerable at all
See, depending on how we take rejection we can later have a change in personality. The once outgoing kid can become the kid who plays video games at home all day. Some people grow out of their past hurts (some of them or all of the hurts) and other people don’t.
The thing to keep in mind is that not everyone is going to like you or understand you. There are 7 billion people in this world and it takes 7 billion different people to make the world go ’round.
Once you understand that no one cares about what you do, did, or are going to do except your loved ones then you learn it doesn’t really matter. Like when you fell or had a pimple on your face at prom. No one will remember in a year or a couple of days. The only reason you remember these things is that you are so self-focused. Once you accept that no one truly cares about what you do then you can let it go.
You can’t tell me that you remember what your mom wore last Tuesday. Why would anyone else remember what you were wearing? You also can’t tell me that you remember what your classmate ate for lunch yesterday. Nobody focuses that hard on what you do (unless you’re Kim Kardashian). If they do, they also have rejection issues.
Let’s say someone doesn’t like you or the way you are. Why do you care? Does it truly matter what that person says? Is she going to pay your bills? Are they going to tell everyone that you will ever meet what you did yesterday? No one truly cares enough to do so. Generally speaking, most people are polite about your flaws because they understand they have some too. Maybe others will make fun of you for today but tomorrow they’ll make fun of you for something else. Make fun of them too.
Learn to not be so sentimental when someone doesn’t like something about you. If they don’t like that you’re growing out your hair that doesn’t mean you cut your hair. That means that you ask yourself if you like your hair out. If you do, keep it long. If you don’t like your hair long then consider cutting it.
Who cares what they think?
The more you care about what people think the less freedom you’ll exercise in your life. You’ll be wary of the clothes you wear, the hairstyle you choose to have, and the words you say.
You should want to be you and exercise being you.
If you feel rejection, that’s okay. Rejection is just someone saying no to you. So what if the answer is no? try again, and keep trying until you get a yes. It can take hundreds of no’s before you get your final yes. It’ll take 3 failed relationships before the fourth one is the one that’ll work. It’ll take multiple attempts before the last attempt works. You won’t know until you get there.
If instead, you choose to let rejection rule over your life you’ll ever try anything new.You’ll instead keep yourself in a shell and keep yourself from trying to get hurt. This world is a world that has some pain, it’s what grows us and brings us charcter. Rejection is part of that. Rejection helps us get better, it should motivate us to do better.
Don’t let rejection control your life. It’s easier said than done but that doesn’t mean you cannot practice. It’s not like you’re going to get over this in a day. Take your time. You’re not perfect and no one else is. The same way you feel others have felt too. Don’t feel alone in this cold world. You are loved too.