Valentines Day: 6 Lessons My Wife Taught Me

6 Lessons my wife taught me
©Viktor Hanacek 2016

6 Lessons

This is my first article on Tru.Works and I decided to make this article special by reflecting on the things my wife has taught me. I choose this topic because she owns Tru.Works and she not only shares wisdom and knowledge with our readers who she calls, Tru.Workers, she has taught me so much in the day to day grind of our marriage.

I know I have taught her many things but that’s another article. I’m waiting to read that one! Without further ado, here are 6 wonderful lessons my wife taught me in our 2.75 years of marriage:

Lesson One

The value of hard work. At one point in our lives, my wife used to manage me. I hated it so much. She was so on top of everyone and I felt she was hardest on me. Today I want to think that she pushed me to be the best because she wanted me (her boyfriend at the time) to be known as a hard worker. At the time, I took it so personal when in reality she just wanted to make me look good in front of her peers.

It really hit me when we moved to New York City and I worked for a sandwich shop where the manager would push me to be faster and work harder. In New York City I learned rather quickly that if I didn’t pick up the pace I was to be easily replaced.

When we moved back to Pennsylvania I worked 4 jobs at one time and truly understood the value of working hard and  paying my tithes. My wife was always offered management positions and was always offered her job back whenever she moved on from a company.

She can go back to any of her old bosses and request her job back and they would take her back in a pinch. I learned that the only way to make it in this world is to work hard and make money to be successful thanks to my wife.

Lesson Two

Appreciate everything I’ve been blessed with, especially my family. My wife comes from a broken family. Her mother told her she loved her for the first time at 24 years of age and all her siblings are unstable. Her father, whom she loves deeply, never saw her as a teenager and her mother was borderline physically and verbally intense to her. She has forgiven her family and accepted the situation Father God has given her but I never realized how lucky I was to have a father who calls me from time to time and a mother who would buy me underwear or share funny pictures and videos with me on Facebook to make me smile.

My wife never had that. She struggled so much watching me hug my father and kiss my mother. She never had that experience. She would even cry at night some days when she wouldn’t hear from her father.

I hated seeing her go through this but I believe that I value my family more than I ever had in my life. When we first got married she would tell me to call my dad and take my mother out. Today I do it without her telling me to thank my family or call them up. I’m very proud of myself for that but I wouldn’t have done this without my wife. I probably would have only called my parents whenever I needed something. Thanks to my wife, I don’t take advantage of the family I was given.

Lesson Three

How to communicate with people. Before my wife, I was an awkward child. My father ingrained in me that I was the best there was, is and ever will be but I never realized that I was this indeed but only through Jesus Christ. I was bullied horribly in middle school and always found myself seeking approval of people.

I used to run to people and follow them to say hello. I wanted to make their day. I would come off so strong that I would embarrass my wife in front of her friends and family because I would try so hard to make people laugh and please them. I can’t believe she loved me even though I spoke like a doofus.

She explained to me the reason you should listen more than speak. She taught me how to be silent and how to think of the other person without sacrificing my personality. The only thing she cannot take from me is how loud I am. When I speak everyone is going to hear me. It’s so bad that now my wife speaks so loud that her own family can’t stand it!

Anyway, I am not so socially awkward anymore thanks to my wife.

Lesson Four

She taught me how to dress and take pride in my appearance. I used to wear anything. Actually, I never went to a barber until my wife and I started dating. My appearance changed drastically with my wife. My wife never goes outside in pajamas or sweats.

For the most part, her hair is done, her makeup is on and she walks like she owns the room. I just walked around wearing different colors and random snapback hats that never matched my outfits. The way I dress now has helped me in interviews, and feeling better about myself.

Thanks to my wife I am handsome inside and out!

Lesson Five

This is a big one. My wife taught me how to be selfless. I am an absolutely selfish person. I would take my wife out on dates to places that I liked. We watched the movies I wanted to see and we would do what I wanted to do. We’d watch movies, go to te laser dome and eat at restaurants I liked.

My wife hates the laser dome, she believes going to the movies for a date isn’t special and loves to try new foods. She dealt with me for a couple months but I eventually heard it from her that she hates doing all these things and does them for me.

She admitted that she didn’t like kissing me because I was a horrible kisser. I used to pinch her top lip and she would suck up the pain. She would buy me presents and have meals set for me at the table. I would buy myself clothing (we shared bank accounts) and would come home and I know my wife was waiting to see what I bought her which sadly was nothing at all.

My wife was so selfless sometimes that I would take her to shopping sprees and she wouldn’t buy anything because she would rather save the money or buy me something instead. She taught me to always be kind to others and to give before I receive.

She taught me to think of myself as nothing and the only reason I am something is because of Jesus. Because of Jesus we are something only to do things for God. I learned this, because of my wife.

Lesson Six

My wife taught me to love myself. Like I stated before, I was bullied all through middle school. It became such a problem that my mother had me homeschooled for the rest of middle school and all of high school.

I appreciate the education I was given but I was left with a void of communicating with people. The bullying I went through left me with wanting to be recognized by my peers and I wanted to be accepted into a social group. I did so many stupid things just because  I wanted a “high school experience”. I wasted so much time searching for acceptance when my wife accepted me for who I was before I became a hot shot in my hometown.

When I moved to New York City, I realized I was a nobody. I realized that I was not special in this world and it hit me that if I wanted to be somebody it was going to be harder to achieve than it was in my hometown.

This time, I want to be somebody for the right reasons. I want to be humble and accept anyone who comes my way because my wife accepted me before I was somebody. Jesus accepts me for who I am and today I want to receive everyone and not just who I see fit to accept to my standards. I know this sounds horrible but it’s true. I became so “big-headed” my wife was disappointed in me. Thankfully, I am wanting to change because of my wife.

Bonus Lesson

My wife taught me the true meaning of how to be a man. My father taught me so much but my wife pushed me to be these things that my father instilled in me. She taught me to be responsible. My wife also taught me the importance of honesty and being humble. She taught me the importance of listening to her speak and saying no to people.

My wife taught me that being a man is hard. My wife understands that we have so many expectations as men that the pedestal is so high that we rather not try than to actually try and fall down the pedestal we were put on. My wife is happy when I tell her I’m stressed. My wife loves when I cry to her and my wife loves when I am honest with her.

I learned to love these things. These things make me a man. I am a man and there’s nothing that  I can do to make me feel less than that. I’m not sure if this is making any sense but if I can explain further I would say that I feel free to be myself with my wife and I love it. Whenever I feel weak she holds me. Whenever I feel strong she’s pushing me to conquer goals while I feel this way.

My wife has taught me many lessons in life. I know that I myself have taught her many but she challenges me to be a better me every day which helps her be a better her every day.

I love my wife and the lessons she teaches me while we experience the daily grind. I would have it no other way.

Thanks to my wife I am a better man and a better person.

Thank you.

5 Comments

  1. Steve Jones
    February 17, 2016

    So proud to know you both! What a great article. Wishing you both all the best of everything. God Bless

    Reply
  2. Eric
    February 17, 2016

    Sweet to recognize your wife as instrumental in your development. The true measure of a man!

    Reply
  3. Frank
    May 29, 2016

    I could not resist commenting. Perfectly written!

    Reply
  4. Arletta Wondra
    July 11, 2016

    Thank’s great post.

    Reply
  5. Giovanna Gunsolley
    August 6, 2016

    nice

    Reply

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