When Fear Overwhelms Our Hearts

When Fear Overwhelms the Heart
©Josh Felise 2015

This article is a blessing from Carmen Horne who shares stories and experiences of her life on her personal blog, CarmenHorne.com. Learn more about Carmen on CarmenHorne.com.

My eyes were like tea cups filled to the top as the week began last week – ready to spill over into the saucer with the least little tremble of my hands.

I wanted to give credit to hormones. Maybe I had a virus. My tummy was a bit uneasy. I fought against tears, Get a grip Carmen. 

You know that feeling? When your insides are fluttery and you want to cry? Sometimes we know what’s going on with ourselves, and sometimes we are unsure. We just know it’s something.

It was unshakable. Please Lord, help me understand what’s going on so we can fix this!

By evening time, I thought, you need to have a good cry. But, what was I crying about!

I stood in the shower and squalled as we say in the south. You can cry the ugly cry in the shower. During those tears, I made myself think about what I was truly feeling. The feelings that were hiding under the exterior of all is okay.

Fear. What are you afraid of Carmen? Then, oh then, the words began to pour out of my mouth. Some of them are just so personal, I’m not ready to share but some of them I can imagine you have felt as well,

I’m afraid I’m not…

a good wife, good mom, good daughter, good sister, good cousin and niece, good friend, good Jesus girl, good…

I’m afraid I’m not…

going to succeed, and scared to death I will…

I’m afraid I’m not…

a writer, or a speaker, or a life coach, or cut out for ministry…

I’m afraid I’m not…

going to trust again or forgive completely old hurts…

I’m afraid I’m not…

ever going to lose weight and that I won’t fit into an airplane seat or an ambulance gurney…

Fear is ugly. Fear is real. Fear is a thief. It steals, kills and destroys our hopes and dreams.

Just pouring out those real, life feelings and watching them swirl around the drain in my shower and disappear did help me feel better. A good cry usually does. I didn’t want this to be just a good cry, though. I want, change.

How will this look for me, for you? I started by praying and asking God to renew my mind in this area, Romans 12:2; Ephesians 4:23

Then I remembered something a dear friend and mentor, Margaret, told me once, “Carmen, perfect love cast out all fear”. (1 John 4:18) Is it that we don’t fully understand God’s love for us?

I did what I usually do when I am seeking, I open my heart and my eyes wide. I want to notice when God is speaking. Something caught my eye. Beth Moore’s new book, Audacious, has been sitting on my desk since September – 4 months. The title drew me. The first few pages had me spell-bound.

Quoting Beth, (I love how God’s timing aligns with my need.) “The person you are when you love Jesus with everything in you – with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength – is the real you. The brilliant you. The bring-it you. The breathtaking you. The born-for-this you. The person you were born to be crawls out of the shell of a heart cracked wide-open to the audacious love of Christ.” And this…”If you and I are going to live and love audaciously, we’re going to have to quit answering the door when hopelessness bangs its ugly fist at it. It has no place in our lives. Hopelessness is a liar. A convincing one.”

The father of lies (John 8:44) can be a powerful conversationalist. He sounds familiar. I think what he probably does it just use our own words against us. Lord, help us speak grace and truth to ourselves.

Change often comes when where we are, gets just too uncomfortable to stay.

Lord, help us feel uncomfortable and with everything except Your truth.

I want to personally thank Carmen for sharing her experience with Tru.Works. Carmen writes for her own blog titled CarmenHorne.com.

4 Comments

  1. Carmen Horne
    March 23, 2016

    Thanks for sharing with your readers. Blessings on your ministry!

    Reply
    1. Yessenia Diaz
      March 23, 2016

      Thank you Carmen!

      Reply
  2. Gene Trias
    September 6, 2016

    Thank you for a very interesting website. Where else could I get that kind of info written in such a perfect approach?

    Reply
    1. Yessenia Diaz
      September 6, 2016

      Only at Tru.Works!

      Reply

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