There are those moments in life where you catch yourself staring at your husband and wonder where the conversation went. You don’t know why you both do not
You don’t know why you both do not talk like before. You didn’t change, but he did. He’s more to himself and doesn’t engage in conversation as much anymore.
Men are different creatures in the sense that conversation to them isn’t so important and meaningful to them as it is for women. Women can talk about anything without importance in her words and let out baggage and feelings and enjoy themselves in conversation. When two women talk to each other they both understand to listen and seldom give advice unless asked for it.
Men, on the other hand, talk about information and have more control over what they say and who they’re talking to and who they give themselves up to.
Their words have meaning behind them and usually have a purpose unless he’s having a good time.
They do not just blab about themselves to just anyone they have not seen in years but they pick and choose who they share things with and usually, it’s either a best friend (their guy friends) or their girl. Your concern is that you have noticed he has not been that way with you lately and there are a few reasons for that.
Critical & High Expectations with a Mix of Nagging
You have become critical. When you criticize a man of his actions and every little move he makes it annoys him. They will never meet up to what they think is your ridiculous standards or your expectations no matter how much you nag.
Every time you criticize him or nag him you remind him of his failures and convince him that you deserve better.
He does not want to hear criticism. He wants to know you’re proud of him. He needs to know you’re proud of him. Instead, you unintentionally make him feel like he can’t make a move without hearing your end of the world reasoning of why he can not do this or that.
For example, if he wants to go golfing and you want him to spend more time with you don’t get upset that he even asked you if he could go golfing.
Some men will get to a point where they will not ask anymore and go golfing without letting you know. Embrace that he shared that with you and let him go golfing.
Play around with him and tell him that he owes you a date after golfing.
Maybe, you wanted to spend the day with him instead of letting him golf. There’s always another day. You must change your way of thinking first so that he can appreciate the wife that also appreciates him.
Another reason he may have stopped talking to you is because you keep complaining about everything he does. He may not take out the trash enough, spends too much money on games or wastes so much food. Stop complaining and start loving. When you learn to shut it and learn to pick the right times to talk to him about your issues than you can have the conversation about the small things.
Whining and nagging will just have him ignore you and stay away. So stop the nagging and talk when the timing is right.
Look, if every time he brings up his day, what he wants to do today, or his goals and you bring up chores, criticize his manhood and his ideas then of course he won’t speak to you at all. No one would. Men are more sensitive toward the complaining and nagging then woman are.
Challenge yourself to compliment his physique, kiss him before heading off to work and to greet him when he comes home with such an excitement that he can’t wait to come home tomorrow. No matter how annoyed or angry you are you should never stop loving your husband. That comes first.
Put aside the chores, money issues or children for the moment and enjoy each other’s conversation and laugh.
Eventually, all the things you have to say aren’t so important anymore or you’ll figure out a better time to bring them up.
Men are sensitive to different things than woman are. Nagging isn’t such a big deal to us but to a man, it can strip them of their manhood and cause them to resent you.
Instead of nagging or complaining it’s good to ask for help, instead of telling a man what to do.
If you need the bathroom cleaned, ask them for your help. Love is repetition. When you repeat the same things you want help with eventually he’ll learn that it’s his duty to do whatever that chore is.
To this day my husband handles laundry, and I handle the cooking. When we first married I did both. After asking him for help in this area he began to take it upon himself to begin doing laundry without asking.
I didn’t nag him, I asked for help. Now he does his part. The finances, errands with travel, and other things he helps me out with. Simply because i just don’t nag him anymore.
It doesn’t work. It just angers them.
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Yessenia Diaz has a background in graphic and web design but is also intrigued by writing and teaching. Yessenia created Tru.Works as an outlet for all her talents and continues collecting stories from around the world to share with people all across the interweb. Follow Yessenia on Instagram and her favorite, Twitter, @ythegreatdiaz.