I hate when some women say that they can’t have female friends. It’s as if every woman in the world is shady but you. I get that you must be cautious of who you call a friend, but I find it very hard to believe that out of the billions of women in the world, none of them would make good associates.
I had the pleasure of going out this weekend with a group that I started called the Single Gal Group. It’s a way for single women to leave the house and get away for a bit while unwinding with some group activity. It was our first event and let me be honest, I didn’t expect anyone to show up. I pulled up a little after 5:30 and found an amazing parking spot. The thing about me is that at times, when things come incredibly easy I think to myself, “I was meant to do this. I was meant to be here.” It’s like the universe is working with me, to give me what I need.
I get out of my car and walked to the winery and thought to myself, “No matter what, I am going to enjoy myself.” I walked in and there were two young women on my left talking and a man with a woman on my far right. I sat closer to the women and begin to alert my group that I was there and would be there until 7:30 p.m. 10 minutes had passed and I already threw in the towel and admitted to myself that no one would be coming, but I would have my food, wine, and social media friends to keep me company. The young ladies next to me were talking loud enough for me to listen in. Not on purpose as I was just enjoying the atmosphere, but the lack of any other noises in the establishment made their conversation really stand out.
I felt one of them ask a question and make eye contact with me. I said a quick quip and we all laughed. Suddenly, I found myself moved from spectator to participant in their conversation. They were so fun and open to sharing so much about themselves. They were Columbus transplants, both worked at Nationwide, and though they had been in Columbus for a while, they were still searching for places to try. As the night went on, 2 other women joined the group and we had a ball. We all ended up exchanging social media information and vowed to meet back up for some more girls’ night fun!
While we were there, there were two other young ladies who had come into the establishment a little after our group had become complete. One of the ladies in my group said that those young women appeared to make certain gestures alerting her that perhaps they were jealous of our group. I hadn’t noticed them but would have welcomed them if they wanted to join. As women, we sometimes have this unseen competition with other women. As soon as we see one another we begin analyzing their hair, their job, their looks. We start thinking about ways for her to improve her looks based on our perceptions. (i.e. “She would be cute if she would just etc.) We are so much harsher on each other than men are on us. And why? So that we can poise ourselves to be better than the other women for a chance for a man to choose us? Or because we cannot accept that there are others who may command the spot like we do? I’m sure each young woman has her reasons but whatever the case it is a toxic trait to have.
We become standoffish when we see each other in public. Instead of saying hello, we act like this other woman already irritated us from the get-go. With shows permeating the airways like Love and Hip Hop or The Real Housewives of Atlanta, seeing strong bonds of sisterhood are becoming far and few in the media. However, this generation of new young women who will soon become our future leaders. We must encourage out women to embrace each other instead of immediately being suspicious of one another. You never know who you may meet or what opportunities you will encounter. Not to mention the importance of friendships amongst women. It’s important for each gender to have friends of the same sex. Because, all though we can be empathetic to one’s plight, there are some things that only another woman or man would understand. When you have strong women in your corner your reach in life is extended beyond what you could do alone. When you are out and you run into another young lady or someone is by themselves, take that chance to strike up a conversation. Get out of your comfort zone to meet someone who may become a great resource for you down the road.