You Cannot Change Your Husband

(Or Any Man for That Matter)

It is so annoying when he leaves his shoes on the floor or when he brings up his day before he asks you about how your day went. You hate the fact that he doesn’t give you affection like he used to and that all the nagging that you do everyday is not getting through his thick skull.

©Viktor Hanacek 2015
©Viktor Hanacek 2015

No matter how long you have been married and no matter how many more years you both have left together, you will both do things to annoy each other. The worse thing about the nuisances you both have is that the longer you both take to fix them the worse they will get.

What is even crazier is that you cannot change each other. I’m sorry for the bad news but all the nagging you do goes in one ear and out the other and to be frank, it is so annoying. No one wants to be around a woman that nags. Remember how much your mom nagged you to clean your room or get a job? Sadly, we all grow up to be our mothers but we can stop that today with the knowledge and acceptance that you cannot change your husband.

Your husband can only change himself. All you can do is sit him down and talk to him about something that is bothering you. If you do talk to him about an issue it has to be done in a specific way:

  1. With respect, (look him in the eyes and talk to the man, no yelling.
  2. Not after an event or once he comes home. Let him breathe and have his moment. Later you can bring things up.
  3. Listen. When he speaks, you shut up. Simple.

This takes practice. Believe me, once you learn how to communicate to your man this way, you will see that he will speak to you more and share more of himself with you. He will respect what you have to say and have a more open heart to your concerns.

Some men are very hardheaded and when that comes you must pray to Daddy God and wait until he changes. That’s all you can do sometimes. He’s Gods problem now and that’s great because you don’t have to worry about it anymore.

A testimony:

My husband and I almost broke off our engagement because I didn’t want to live in Lancaster, PA anymore and he did not want to move to New York City with me. This divide was so horrible that I had to give up and wait for God to change his mind. I then went ahead (a year into our marriage) and moved us to Brooklyn for 3 months and he hated it. We then returned to Pennsylvania and after 6 or 7 months he changed his mind. He got more involved with his hip hop and decided to pursue acting and dance in New York.

Today, this woman is planning her move to the city of dreams with her husband and is excited for the next part of their lives. It took a lot of sucking up, prayers and crying until this change came. Daddy God would never want you to separate from your husband and it takes time and patience for him to grow. Eventually, as he learns more lessons (as do you) he will learn faster than before.

Remember, you cannot change your husband. No matter how much you try. The nagging and complaining makes everything worse. If your man doesn’t come home or hates to be home it’s probably because you’re home and all you do is nag!

Relax, you’re not alone. Every wife has a husband who does things that annoys her. Pray and enjoy each other no matter what.

Inspiration from:

Yessenia Diaz has a background in graphic and web design but is also intrigued by writing and teaching. Yessenia created Tru.Works as an outlet for all her talents and continues collecting stories from around the world to share with people all across the interweb. Follow Yessenia on Instagram and her favorite, Twitter, @ythegreatdiaz.

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