Are They Cheating On You?
The “is he cheating on you?” ad is everywhere. It’s all over blogs and the internet and I find it to be annoying that I need to be reminded about possible insecurities and uncertainties in my relationship. I find that I may struggle with the thought some other woman will come on to my spouse and I want to think the best of my husband and assume he’ll turn any and every woman down for me but this ad, “Are They Cheating on You” is just annoying because it makes me question my trust in my husband.
But when I really think about it, why would a simple ad make me question my relationship? Is it that I don’t really trust my husband?
So now I wonder, could he be cheating on me? What about you, do you ever think if they are cheating on you?
Maybe I don’t really trust my spouse and they are cheating on me?
Now, what if I don’t trust my partner? Then what? What if you really don’t trust your wife when she leaves for work?
I got to ask myself, why don’t I trust my partner? When I get down to the bottom of it, there are many behaviors my spouse does that I now view as red flags. Here they are below:
- Not posting me on social media
- Getting home very late for ‘work’ purposes
- Changing in grooming
- Unable to celebrate important dates anymore as a couple
- Spending most of his time on the phone when at home
I don’t want to be the crazy Latina that thinks her husband is always cheating on them
Years back I noticed a lot of changes in my spouse’s behavior. One of the few things we always argued about was over social media. He never put his relationship out there and when he took pictures he would not have his ring on in his photos.
His excuses were always that his job required him to seem single. I remember bringing up the conversation but he’d throw back all of my inquiries as if I was insecure about our relationship and myself.
When I really reflect on all I went through with that man I remember times when my husband would take pictures with other women and puts them up on social media.
This would drive any woman crazy.
After 8 years of the same arguments, I have finally gotten tired of caring about what my husband was doing and with who. So I focused on myself and truly blocked myself off from him emotionally.
I chose to believe in the best and I knew that eventually, everything will come to light.
I chose to believe the best because I was tired of wasting my energy on him
I was tired of the social media stalking and inquiring about who certain women were in different pictures and posts.
In the end, I continued the relationship mostly for religious reasons and because I still loved this man at the time. I wasn’t sure what was up with him but if he said he wasn’t cheating then all I can do is wait and see what happens.
Because it was quite possible, that I was truly the insecure one and was wrong. Looking back, I was stupid to ever think I was the problem.
All my wondering just led to me doubting myself as a person, and feeling insecure. When in the end, He was cheating.
In the end, he was cheating on me
One night, he couldn’t sleep.
I knew then and there that all the lies were catching up to him. He couldn’t sleep in our bed or look at me. A few days prior to this night he’d disappear and had come home super late and couldn’t sleep.
Yet he kept up the lies, He couldn’t sleep because he needed to end our relationship because he didn’t love me anymore.
That crushed me. But I knew- this wasn’t the truth. Or at least the whole truth. I could give a damn if he loved me or not.
So I did what any Latina would do.
He needed time to make sure he wanted to leave the relationship so he left. While he was gone I hacked into everything of his that I could think of and in front of my eyes, in clear vision, he had another full-blown relationship with another woman.
Boy did my blood boil. But you know what? It boiled so well because I was finally free.
He cheated, and now what?
I was finally free. Religiously, I was able to get a divorce. For years I wanted to leave this man and I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I thought there was a possibility to fix the relationship.
Now I know that being with someone for God wasn’t worth my time. He wasted my life and time and gave me nothing. I’m sure God wouldn’t want me to live my ever-so-short life like this.
After I got my proof. While he was out’ figuring out’ his life and if he still loved me in Chicago I packed his crap in trash bags and when he got home I asked him to take his shit and leave.
Was he furious? Yes. Did I care? Nope. For all I know you ended the relationship. You don’t live here anymore. So he left.
Reflection on an unfaithful marriage
The divorce process wasn’t so easy. He left the state and he was pretty much an idiot. I completed the paperwork with his money and he signed and we were able to get divorced rather quickly. The hardest part was not knowing where he was.
Thankfully we got that sorted out.
Where I’m getting at is that, if you feel suspicious about your partner then you have 2 routes to go about the situation.
You can do what I did, which was right for me, and wait it out until it came to light or you can go crazy and find out for yourself. For me, I didn’t love him like I did years back. I didn’t care enough. I was okay with him doing whatever he did and I did my own thing.
If you think he’s cheating, see if his behaviors have changed since you’ve met or really felt in love with each other.
There were good moments, but today- I don’t even think about them. Did I cry? Yes. I cried because I felt stupid. And I couldn’t believe I waited this long. I didn’t love that person anymore, yet, I kept something going I should’ve ended 5 years ago.
All because of my faith.
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