I swear I relate to a lot of people. I don’t judge my friends because I know that I’m just as messed up as they are and make pretty dumb decisions every day. I love my friends, they bring joy and laughter into my struggle of a life and listen to my frustrations about work and family and share their insecurities and conflicts too.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any married friends that are under 30 years old. It’s almost like they don’t exist in New York City but I find you can make friends so easily here. I have friends where I swear I’ve known them for years. They’re Phillipino girls but they come from such a humble background that we can get along so easily. We make fun of each other and talk about everything. We play games and can hang out and laugh about each other’s cultures and personalities. We just have so much fun together and I smile just thinking about them.
Other friends, I can joke along with and just have a good time dancing, clubbing, casually drink, and just let out the stress of our lives over music and dance. We just enjoy forgetting about the noise and focus on the fun at hand and in this moment.
Then there are the friends I can connect to about Jesus, and religious beliefs which I find relieving to talk to these friends at times but then feel overwhelmed as if I can’t be myself. I still curse like a sailor you know. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ but I sure do miss being reckless with others after being with them for some time.
There are other friends you connect to more deeply. There are the friends where they’re open-minded and you can discuss opinions, memories, hurts, goals, and struggles with. It’s a connection that’s lovely when you love intellectual and psychological discussions and can be relieving when you let out a lot about yourself that you normally keep to yourself. It’s also fun when in the middle of the conversation we can make jokes and laugh about our current situations.
There’s best friends, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, coworkers, and partner. As humans, we need relationships every day to thrive. I find that I won’t find everything I need in one person. The closest I have to a perfect mate would be my husband but there comes a point when I want to complain about the soreness of my breast before my period comes to someone who understands the same pain I have and it ain’t going to be him.
Didn’t think I’d say that, right? Let’s be real.
My husband inspires me to become a harder worker, a stronger business person and a more vocal and decision-making woman.
My friends inspire me to be a better person. They remind me of why I’m writing every day. They bring reason to my articles, and reason to my stories, and purpose behind Tru.Works.
Although, I’d love it if Tru.Works was only about marriage and handling relationships I find that it wouldn’t be enough and that Tru.Works needs to be larger than that. That’s how Tru.Works started. I was annoyed of the decisions people were making in their marriage and relationships that I decided to give advice.
Shortly after the Tru.Works launch I realized that I was just as much a failure as my friends and family so I decided to write bout my failures. It got kind of depressing and so now I write about everything and any aspect of my life, my decisions, and the results of each decision I’ve made.
I think that’s what friends do. They are vulnerable to each other. It may not be complete vulnerability but it’s something. We throw some information about ourselves out there and then we see what happens.
I have a couple girlfriends that know a lot about me. If they ever snitched me out I’d have a lot of explaining to do to some people.
You know who you are.
My husband is another one. I’m vulnerable to him physically, emotionally and mentally. He sees me at my ugliest, and I mean physically ugly. When I wake up he’s there to see the blemishes, bad breath, and hairy mess. No one else will see that, EVER!
My friends see the free and careless side of myself. I’m reminded of myself.
With my husband, I am us. When I’m with my friends, I am me.
I don’t know if that makes sense or not but when you’re married you don’t make your own decision all the time. When I enter Sephora I am choosing between a wonderful and expensive concealer, or my husband’s shoes for his next gig.
It’s annoying but, marriage is all about that. He goes through the same thing every day. Some days he’ll admit he could be out making money or connecting with people but instead he’s home watching a movie with me.
We had to find a balance with work and our marriage because we ended up being friends that live together, sleep together, and eat together. We didn’t have much conversation anymore.
I have enough satisfying relationships where I get the best of all worlds now. I’m not saying I’m using my friends bu I think we all need our friends from time to time to expose a side of ourselves that we want to share and haven’t shared in some time.
I’ve had friends admit to me about their rape, their living situations, lies, betrayals, sicknesses, hatred toward others and I love that they are real with me.
I even let that out too.
They say you need to be careful who you share information with and I strongly believe that’s true.
With me, I won’t share things that are not mine to share. I believe it’s a sign of respect to keep your business yours. Everyone is looking for a friend that can do that and I find it annoying when people share things that aren’t theirs to share.
That’s what relationships are made of. Even a relationship with Christ is based on the complete trust that Christ is your savior and that He knows what He’s gonna do with your life.
I trust my friends with certain things. If they share that with other friends behind my back, it’s a risk that I am aware of but it’s their choice to do so.
I’m a forgiving friend. I like to be free and not hide my personality. But there are some things that aren’t meant for everyone to know like a social security number, passwords, and bank account information.
I don’t have much I hide from people.
Heck, I write about my life constantly to the public almost every day. I’m a bit crazy some may say.
But you know what, I’m free. I’m free from holding things in and I am happy with the relationships I have.
I am satisfied with my friendships, relationships and that is what keeps me going. It keeps me writing and makes sure that I’m pushing forward.
Yessenia is a compelling and innovative program and operations manager who uses her 5+ years of experience in operations management and graphic design to determine small business needs in the areas of inventory costs, labor expenses, P&L, COGs, marketing, and graphic design to create and manage profitable plans for small businesses and individual projects. She is the Owner and Founder of Tru.Works.