(Or Any Man for That Matter)
It is so annoying when he leaves his shoes on the floor or when he brings up his day before he asks you about how your day went. You hate the fact that he doesn’t give you affection like he used to and that all the nagging that you do every day is not getting through his thick skull.
No matter how long you have been married and no matter how many more years you both have left together you will both do things to annoy each other. The worse thing about the nuisances you both have is that the longer you both take to fix them the worse they will get.
What is even crazier is that you cannot change each other. I’m sorry for the bad news but all the nagging you do goes in one ear and out the other and to be frank, it is so annoying. No one wants to be around a woman that nags. Remember how much your mom nagged you to clean your room or get a job? Sadly, we all grow up to be our mothers but we can stop that today with the knowledge and acceptance that you cannot change your husband.
Your husband can only change himself. All you can do is sit him down and talk to him about something that is bothering you. If you do talk to him about an issue it has to be done in a specific way.
I’ve learned this way over years of practice. Men in general, don’t take the emotional woman seriously unless she discusses issues with him carefully.
You must speak to your man with respect, (look him in the eyes and talk to the man, no yelling.) Men need to be respected, it’s actually more important for them to feel respected than love. When you show respect, then they too will open their ears and listen to you.
When you speak to a man about important issues you must be calm and speak respectfully- without blaming him for what the problem is. Casting blame on him will cause him to be defensive.
When bringing up important subjects, if you can avoid bringing up the conversation right when he gets home that would help you get through to him more than if as soon as he walked int his home he gets bombarded with tough questions and deep conversation. Let him breathe and have his moment. Later you can bring things up.
This is important because no one wants to come home to get verbally attacked- men especially, want to rest and find peace in their home and their woman.
Lastly, when he talks you must listen. This goes both ways but it could be that you talk over your man. When you do this enough your man, is being kind to you by not saying anything to you about how rude you are to him in conversation and instead just keep quiet without truly discussing things with you.
Be aware of how you speak to your man. If you belittle him, yell at him, or are just plain rude- your communication efforts will go downhill quickly.
It happens that we as women can get comfortable with our man and talk to them differently than we would a stranger on the street. We get very comfortable. We can’t forget that they are sensitive too.
This takes practice. Believe me, once you learn how to communicate with your man this way, you will see that he will speak to you more and share more of himself with you. He will respect what you have to say and have a more open heart to your concerns.
Some men are very hardheaded and when that comes you must pray to Daddy God and wait until he changes. That’s all you can do sometimes. He is God’s problem now and that’s great because you don’t have to worry about it anymore.
My husband and I almost broke off our engagement because I didn’t want to live in Lancaster, PA anymore and he did not want to move to New York City with me. This divide was so horrible that I had to give up and wait for God to change his mind. I then went ahead (a year into our marriage) and moved us to Brooklyn for 3 months and he hated it. We then returned to Pennsylvania and after 6 or 7 months he changed his mind. He got more involved with his hip hop and decided to pursue acting and dance in New York.
Today, this woman is planning her move to the city of dreams with her husband and is excited for the next part of their lives. It took a lot of sucking up, prayers and crying until this change came. Daddy God would never want you to separate from your husband and it takes time and patience for him to grow. Eventually, as he learns more lessons (as do you) he will learn faster than before.
Remember, you cannot change your husband. No matter how much you try. The nagging and complaining makes everything worse. If your man doesn’t come home or hates to be home it’s probably because you’re home and all you do is nag!
Relax, you’re not alone. Every wife has a husband who does things that annoys her. Pray and enjoy each other no matter what.
Inspiration from: Heatherllindsey.com
Yessenia is a compelling and innovative program and operations manager who uses her 5+ years of experience in operations management and graphic design to determine small business needs in the areas of inventory costs, labor expenses, P&L, COGs, marketing, and graphic design to create and manage profitable plans for small businesses and individual projects. She is the Owner and Founder of Tru.Works.