I’m Not Happy

I'm Not Happy
Francisco Moreno on Unsplash

Are you possibly known as that lady or man that is happy one second and the next moment you get into a depressive state or angry mood? Bipolar is what your friends may call you and you may have even started thinking that you are but we believe that you probably aren’t bipolar and need help controlling your emotions.

If you are a female you may have most likely grew up allowed to express your feelings. As a young boy, you probably have been taught to control those feelings except maybe the feeling of being angry. Of course, some of you may be the exact opposite of this stereotype but we can’t argue that this is not totally normal in our society.

If you’re known as an overemotional being and you know that you are always out of control with your mood, then you friend, have a problem.

Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean holding everything in. It means understanding that emotions are red flags that let you know something is up with you. They don’t mean you let them out or share them with people all the time. Whenever you feel upset it’s your job to ask the big question, “Why do I feel like this?”

You aren’t supposed to feel upset and blab out your feelings to strangers. You’re supposed to acknowledge your feelings and do something about them. They’re your feelings, only you know what you should do with them.

If you’re angry, find out for yourself why you are angry. Did you step on a Lego? Did someone yell at you or did you disappoint yourself? What triggered your anger? Is it worth staying angry over?

When you know the reason for your current feelings you can defeat them and begin to smile once more. When you know why you feel a certain way you can work on moving on from those feelings.

For example, I’m so angry- obviously, it was because my boss scheduled me to work a shift I asked off for. Instead of staying angry I can come up with a solution. I’m frustrated as heck but I can’t dwell on that, I need to fix this with a clear mind. My solution is to call my boss’ work number and explain to him that I needed that shift off.

Either A, I can see if he can take me off or B, can just stay upset and work the shift angrily. Which one sounds better? With a better attitude, I can definitely try to get my schedule switched back. If I give up quickly I won’t stand a chance getting my schedule rearranged.

What about when you have a heated argument with your spouse. You’re angry, you’re upset, they don’t understand you. How many of us would be able to pause the conversation and calm down? Have you ever thought about going out to dinner in between mid-argument to just enjoy each other without arguing? My partner and I have done this a couple of times and it really helps bring us back to remember why we love each other.

If you’re down in the dumps, figure out what may have caused this feeling to come about and how you can fix or deal with this emotion.

Some time ago someone made it okay to express your emotions all the time. That person was wrong. Little things should be handled by you constantly. It’s your job to discern what is a big deal and what’s not. It’s your responsibility to handle your emotions and take care of yourself.

If you need to talk to someone about your feelings make sure that it’s with someone who has good control over their feelings too. Someone that can logically help you better yourself and can calm you down and not make you feel like acting upon your feelings.

With this understanding, I hope you can begin to enjoy more days of happiness. Remember you aren’t perfect and you will mess up so constantly apologize and forgive yourself and move on. Let go of the emotional baggage and live another day free from feelings holding you down.

Your feelings should not control you. Your mind should not control you either. Take the time to think about what you feel instead of acting by your feelings without thinking.

It’s easier said than done but with time and practice you will have more control over your feelings and be able to live a happier life.

Yessenia is a compelling and innovative program and operations manager who uses her 5+ years of experience in operations management and graphic design to determine small business needs in the areas of inventory costs, labor expenses, P&L, COGs, marketing, and graphic design to create and manage profitable plans for small businesses and individual projects. She is the Owner and Founder of Tru.Works.
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