Is Loyalty Better Than Love?
What a good question. Everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants to find their true love, their soul mate, or partner. I’m so happy to have found this person in my life. Others are still searching or waiting around for Mr. or Mrs. Right and that’s alright. Coming from Pennsylvania, it’s common to find a partner and marry them after a couple of years and spend your life with them. But when times are tough is loyalty better than love?
The county I lived in had religious views in relationships and so it was more common to marry as soon as you find someone who wants to be loyal to you.
In New York City, I find that people always feel like they can find someone better. Someone who looks better, speaks smarter, is more athletic and maybe even someone who is amazed by your personality than your current partner or spouse.
Small towns have fewer people, and fewer people mean less chance where you could find anyone who could be better than you than your current spouse but boy did I get a reality shock in New York City.
There are so many men and so many male options in New York City. More people find you attractive and it’s only because the city has more people in it.
I found myself slipping when I realized a guy from work was actually into me.
He is why I chose loyalty over love
He was exciting, attractive, and had more in common with me than my husband. My husband and I have absolutely nothing in common besides our morals, beliefs and we enjoy relaxing together.
Either than that, he’s black and I’m white. There’s no gray in our relationship at all.
I’ve fought with the idea of having a new relationship and what it would look or feel like to get into a new romance and It bothered me. My husband, the hard worker that he is, is always working and busy.
I could get away with so much but I just don’t have the heart to take advantage of him.
I love him dearly, and yes, I’m missing something from our relationship and this other guy had me realize it but it’s my responsibility to share that with him. The Mind’s Journal blog explains this even further.
Choosing loyalty over love
These few months was a confusing time for myself. I want, to be honest with my readers. I’ve never struggled with something this hard in my life but I know that God brought this challenge into my life because it’s always something that I’ve thought about in the back of my mind.
I’ve found that my beliefs were shattered, my marriage was not in a good place and I was hurting my husband and my mental health. Every day I woke up next to my husband thinking about my happiness and my opinions about love, marriage, God and myself.
I thought a lot of my needs and my decisions and if I made a mistake getting married young.
I’m so grateful that even though I turned away from God I had many good friends who told me to never give up on my marriage and to communicate with my husband.
This is why Tru.Works exists.
Stay loyal no matter what
I can’t imagine the people who are going through things that are crucial to their lives and have no one to talk to about it. That’s why I want to share these stories around the world.
There’s bound to be thousands of women who are on the verge of starting a new romance with another man, or woman, and don’t have a friend to tell them to stay loyal.
Come clean to your spouse, before you go too far and work together to bring happiness into your marriage once again. I can’t get into the details on how to do that but I know that other people have written about it.
This other guy knows now that we’re just friends. Although the thought of a relationship with this man does come into my mind almost every day, it’s just not worth it. I know that eventually I’ll forget and move on.
Marriage isn’t always love and fairytales
Marriage has its ups and downs but it’s loyalty that pays off. It’s not the love, the fun times, the money or the sex, but to know that it doesn’t matter what you do, whether you cheat, lie, steal, laugh, or love, we all just want loyalty.
We can forgive the mistakes.
I’m absolutely human and even God knows that. My husband has to accept my flaws and temptations. He vowed on it. I have to accept his, and we both must work on those things for each other, and for our future children and goals.
Because of this, I don’t ever want to take advantage of him.
Attractive men and women, come and go but loyalty comes with time. Trust can be shattered in an instant, and even if my marriage turns to shreds and my husband and I grow to ever hate each other (I doubt that) I want to be known as a woman of my word.
At the end of the day, loyalty gets us through the hard times.
Remembering my promise of loyalty
I said those vows at 20 years of age and he did so too at 19.
We love each other. Why else would we have married each other?
It’s not hard to find someone sexy, smart, attractive or wise. I’d rather have a loyal spouse than any of that.
I’d rather have someone at my side when my mother passes away, or when I land my first million. Even when I get interviewed for the first time, I want to share that experience.
Loyalty is beautiful. It just sounds so sweet that my spouse and I have been together for 9 years. I can’t wait for our 10-year mark, 15-year mark, and twenty.
The loyalty to each other will all be worth it when my children say daddy for the first time, and when we buy our first house, and when we travel to Japan.
At the end of this season of my life, I was so stressed and so unlike myself that I couldn’t breathe. I despised my husband and hated God. I’ve never thought this could happen to me.
I was so close to ruining my marriage.
My personal lesson was that I’m human. I will fail, I’m not perfect. I’m so happy about that. It’s a relief to know that I’m not able to live this life on my own.
I’ve realized that every day I need God. Even more so, Jesus. Without Him, I’ll lose my wisdom, lose my foundation and myself.
Stick and stay, don’t ever give up on loyalty. It’ll soon pay off. Is loyalty better than love? It is to me, and I’ve never been more in love. For more stories like this one check out these below.
- We Got Married Young and Here’s Why
- Trust God’s Timing for Marriage
- I have Trust Issues With My Boyfriend
Yessenia is a compelling and innovative program and operations manager who uses her 5+ years of experience in operations management and graphic design to determine small business needs in the areas of inventory costs, labor expenses, P&L, COGs, marketing, and graphic design to create and manage profitable plans for small businesses and individual projects. She is the Owner and Founder of Tru.Works.
Great post. I am facing a couple of these problems.
Some really interesting details you have written.Assisted me a lot, just what I was searching for : D.