Look at yourself. Be honest because only you can answer these questions and only you can change yourself. Do you look like a person you would marry? Now, don’t get offended with your answer do hear me out.
Do you look, act and think like a wife or husband? You are a magnet and what you think, speak and act will be attract to you.
Do your clothes beg for others to look at you?
Does your personality seem frivolous with no care of what you say and who you speak to?
Are you easy to get into bed? Do you hang around the opposite sex constantly? Do you find yourself at clubs and bars letting loose and losing control over your body? Do you smoke and can you stop smoking?
If any of these are answered with a yes and you can’t stop smoking you are a husband/wife repeller. You reflect to people that all you want is fun and nothing serious.
Every question above reflects a choice you made that day. You chose the clothes you wanted to wear, who you wanted to be around, what you wanted to do and how you give up control over yourself to substances and people.
A spouse doesn’t want to worry about what you’re going to do, who you’ll be around and if they can trust them. A spouse wants to trust your decisions and wants to have no doubt you will make the best decisions with them in mind. You cannot expect to be a wife if you’re not wife material. You won’t find a wife if you’re not husband material.
Are you faithful, honest, and selfless? Look at your history? Do you have goals? Do you work? So you know how to communicate? Do you know how to listen? Can you trust someone no matter how much they hurt you? Do you understand your spouse will hurt you? Can you forgive? Can you let go of something and never bring it up? If your spouse cheated on you would that be it? Would you stick by? Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Do you get depressed easily? Can you get angry quickly or are you sensitive. Who are you and what have you done? Could you marry yourself?
If the answer is yes, then you’re lying about one of these things already which means you’re not honest! If you said no then you’re on the right track. Not a single person can say they can do all these things 100% of time perfectly. You will mess up. Marriage is sticking with someone even when they mess up. No matter what is is. Of course we’re talking about a marriage where both parties are sane, not abusive or hurtful.
This is the standard of what marriage is about. Marriage revolves on one thing only and that is God. Try marriage without Him and you can probably do it by working hard everyday at it but with God I have learned that somethings are better said to Him than anyone else. God will and has always lead me in the right direction.
You can do this without Him or with Him, that’s your choice. It’s possible either way. Next I will share about my marriage and how my husband and I ended up married and in love. Today, set your standard. What do you want? I know what I wanted and that was:
a faithful husband, laughs, and adventure. I wanted a best friend and smart man. A man with a car, license and job. His own place would be nice too and money.
That then I realized I needed to become faithful, happy, adventurous, smarter and communicate better. I needed my license, a car and job. If I expected that from my future husband, I need to expect that from myself. What is your standard? Write it down and meditate on it. Imagine the man or woman of your dreams and what kind of man or woman they would need. Are you that man? Are you that woman?