We All Have That 1 Regret

We All Have That 1 Regret
©Tamara Bellis 2017

Let’s be honest, we can all feel as if our past mistakes made us the person that we are today which is true but we might have become a better person if we didn’t do that one thing we did back then that we still think about every day.

Things that people regret are decisions. Decisions in relationships, finances, and not living life to the fullest. I’ve regretted trusting specific people, and sharing parts of my psychology, and making memories with people that aren’t bad people- they just have a part of me, my heart.

I’ve regretted certain financial decisions I’ve made. I’ve hated that I’ve shared money with people and have been duped into giving my money away to certain businesses and even toward college.

I’ve hated the memories I’ve made with certain people and I hate some of the memories I still have of people that can never leave my mind. The things they said or made me feel, if I could forget them I can forgive them.

All these things have happened to all of us. All of these things can be forgotten and let go of as time passes on. It’s safe to argue that some of these things are harder to let go of than others.

Having a friend not wanting to be your friend anymore can be hard and hurtful but as time passes on, months or years, the pain is not so hurtful and instead we give our friend the benefit of the doubt.

I wish them peace and a life full of love. I forgive them even if there’s nothing to forgive and I hope they forgive me for anything I’ve done.

As for financial decisions that I regret there’s one example in particular that angers me when I remember the event and it was right before my husband and I wedding where we made our first decision to buy into a vacation package that would give us a free cruise trip that we wanted to use for our honeymoon. We had ended up buying a package that costs us about $1600 which we ended up threatening to involve a lawyer with the company so that we can get a full refund and we did.

I’ll admit I was the one who greatly influenced my husband to choose this package but at the same time, we were lied to about what we would be receiving.

These kind of choices we made in the past are ones where we learn not to make the same mistakes. The lessons we learn from these mistakes are simple and easy to learn.

Don’t marry someone you haven’t known or dated for more than 3 to 4 years (my own suggestion) and don’t invest money into something that some people believe are a scam.

I’ve learned that these decisions are simple compared to life’s biggest regrets. These regrets are realized when it’s too late or at your deathbed.

The regret of not loving your spouse without fear of being hurt, trying new things, letting your children make their own decisions, not traveling, not forgiving someone are all huge regrets.

My biggest fear is that I’ll regret not loving people enough. Giving certain strangers conversations or not spending enough time with my niece and more. I just can’t imagine the despair I would have at my deathbed with these thoughts.

These are thing things you don’t want to fall into. Love with all your might and without the fear of feeling hurt or pain. That’s harder than it sounds. I’ve been with my close to 9 years now and just last year we have decided to cut the crap and love each other unconditionally and without fear of one of us leaving and cheating on each other.

I have never felt so liberated doing so.

As for the regrets where we hurt people or let people hurt us it’s time to let them go. I let them go through God and His forgiveness. If I’ve hurt someone I’d plan on apologizing and have let God know of it and asked for forgiveness and let it go.

I understand that time heals those wounds. I don’t relive those experiences because I must keep moving forward. If I don’t let them go I can’t focus on what I’m meant to do which is something great.

For those of you who don’t go to God for these things I can only suggest letting time pass and forgiving that person or decision and yourself.

It’s time to let it go.

To say that you have no regrets in life is unrealistic. We all wish we did something differently. That’s okay, we just can’t stay in that moment and miss the moments in front of us.

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