Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been so in love that every decision you ever made at that point of your life was made with the consideration of the person you were in love with?
You may have skipped class, said yes to things you meant to say no to, fell behind on homework, gave up on your dreams to be with someone.
This was a point in time where you woke up and they were the first thing you thought of or they were the last person you dreamt of at night.
Love is beautiful but unfortunately, there are some people who plainly take it too far. They make the love of their life their reason for happiness and their lover is what keeps them going forward in life.
If their lover isn’t around their day has no meaning and if their partner has other plans their world comes crashing down as if this is their apocalypse, their end of the world.
This isn’t love anymore, this is an obsession and an unhealthy one at that. You may get temporary obsessions over a new McDonalds sauce or Justin Bieber but a lifetime obsession will affect your life in many ways.
You can lose yourself and forget why you’re alive. Everyone has their own goals and dreams to follow and to make your lover the end all be all is harmful.
To say it plainly, the person you’re married to isn’t someone you need. They should be someone you want. If they’re your reason for living, and the only reason at that this idea is dangerous.
You will end up getting disappointed because people fail. Humans cannot meet our exaggerated expectations. They cheat and steal, they lie and beg. Everyone will fail our expectations, that’s life. The one who is obsessing will always forgive and let go of things which is good but won’t end it with a person that is obviously taking advantage of them.
It’s unhealthy to look at someone as if they’re perfect and they can do you no harm. It’s understood that in the beginning of a relationship the butterflies and physical attraction is high but if time passes and your partner is still the only reason you do anything this can indicate you look at relationships in an unhealthy way,
One way to know if this is true is if you make this person your savior. You put this man or woman first and you make him like God to you. You worship the ground they walk on and the words they say.
This is dangerous because of the above reasons and because of the fact that this person isn’t God or God-like. Revolving your life over someone else instead of Jesus will lead to crazy decisions and odd behavior.
Your life is your own. No need to make someone your end all be all, even in marriage. In marriage, you still shoot for your own goals but together. Your goal should not be to keep your lover around and to make him happy with the sacrifice of yourself.
In a relationship, you go out on dates and spend time with your partner when you can. But you also go to school, work, and do things on your own.
This article is for the person who waits for their partner to come home for their day to begin.
This article is for the person who skips class and puts aside their responsibilities all for their partner.
This article is also for the Christian or anyone else for that matter who looks to their spouse or partner as the go-to person to make them feel better, fix their problems, and bring them confidence.
Your confidence should come from you, Grace comes from God through Christ, and solutions to any issues must be worked out by you or between the both of you.
Live your own life. Continue your focus on your dreams and work.
Yessenia is a compelling and innovative program and operations manager who uses her 5+ years of experience in operations management and graphic design to determine small business needs in the areas of inventory costs, labor expenses, P&L, COGs, marketing, and graphic design to create and manage profitable plans for small businesses and individual projects. She is the Owner and Founder of Tru.Works.